“Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully.” -Richard Bach
When The Last Five Years premiered in 2002, I was in the middle of my time at AMDA in New York studying Musical Theatre. Jason Robert Brown was hot off the critical success of Parade and we were all eagerly awaiting his newest work. It did not disappoint. Every class was full of Cathys and Jamies, Schmuels and talking clocks, summers in Ohio. We all wanted the chance to live it ourselves.
I have loved this show from a distance for the past 14 years, never having an opportunity to work on an official production of it until now. I have loved it on it surface for its fantastic songs and clever lyrics; for its heart. But as the cast and I have dissected our thoughts and feelings about these two beautiful and flawed individuals over the past few weeks, I have fallen in love with this show all over again for its very real and raw honesty.
Normal shows give us an easier task as the audience. We know who the good guy is and who the bad guy is. We know what is right and wrong. We (usually) don’t have to work so hard to understand the dueling perspectives of our characters. This show presents us with more of a challenge. Though both of our characters want their ideal relationship, the variance in that definition for each of them is huge. They struggle with selfishness and narcissism, with jealousy and resentment. The characters (loosely based on Brown and his first wife) are as complicated and flawed as each of us. This gives us as the audience a dilemma. Who is right? Who is wrong? It mirrors reality in a way that theatrical storytelling often doesn’t. The lines aren’t drawn clearly for us. There are wonderful moments of hope and love. There is rampant conflict and confusion inevitably leading to anger and frustration. We have to struggle along with these characters as we live their story to find out what we feel about both of them as they try to achieve what they define as success in life and love.
Looming above everything else in this story is the chronological concept of the piece, with Jamie’s story moving forward in time and Cathy’s moving backward. I believe that Brown uses time very deliberately as a representation of the control both of these characters feel (or lack) in their life at any given moment. It gives us an opportunity to feel hope with both of them throughout the show, even though we as an audience know their love is doomed from the first note sung. It tells us the story of two people who truly want their love to work but are still at the mercy of their flaws and desires. It lets each one of us us see who we really are in them, and where that puts us after the lights go out.
